Planted a Garden

Recently, I planted my garden! Or replanted I suppose I should say.

The story started about two months back when I went through the labor intensive task of clearing out the entire garden, pulling out dead bushes, piles of weeds, and digging up a series of roots that had taken over the entire underground of the garden. This task was made more difficult by the fact that the dogs wanted to help me with this process, running in and out of the dirt and making a mess of everything that I had already removed from the ground. So when all was said and done, I was quite proud of what I accomplished and soon went to the North Hills to some orchards to buy an array of very pretty, and somewhat expensive flowers.

A week later my flowers were dead. I had no idea why, I watered them, kept the dogs off of them, but they still died despite my efforts. Weeks later I realized why. As Dan and I were driving through Wexford, I noticed several houses in which all of the flowers were wilted, dying, or dead. All of these houses were within a mile of Soergels, so what my assumption is is that Soergels loads their plants and flowers with steroids, leaving them no possible way to survive once they are out of the plant steroid miracle grow infested atmosphere and are planted in real soil. That is assuming those other people had also bought their plants from Soergels, which I am.

Which leads us to the day of replanting. Ever since my plants died I have been yearning to go to the Home Depot to purchase new flowers, though I was conflicted. You see, I do not approve of people who go out and spend hundreds of dollars in the spring on flowers and mulch who then repeat this every year because these flowers die at the end of the season. This is an absurd waste of money in my opinion. I had already spent over fifty dollars on flowers and the only way I was justifying buying more was because of the fact that I had won three ten dollar gift cards from work, so essentially these flowers were free, so that was fine. Also, because we were recently gifted a grill and patio set, we were spending more and more time outside and I was tired of looking at the pathetic excuse of a garden that was dying more and more each day.

So I started replanting the garden. We stopped at Home Depot on the way home from Wexford one day and I got flowers and potting soil and top soil and some miracle grow plant food. I was taking no chances in having these flowers die as well. Upon arriving home I donned my gardening gloves and got to work. I decided to clear out some of the lillies that had overtaken the other half of the garden and that the dogs had trampled to a pulp. So I started to dig. Dan watched for a few minutes before he got bored and decided to go upstairs to hook up the television to our awesome and free cable. Within minutes of his departure my shovel hit something hard in the ground. Figuring it was just a rock I moved my shovel back a few inches and dug back in. Upon bringing the shovel back out it caught on the buried object and lifted it out of the ground. Seeing that it was not a rock I got excited. Jackpot! I had stumbled upon buried treasure and since Dan was out of sight it was all mine! I slowly opened the tin and peeked inside... and screamed and dropped it on the ground. "Dan! Dan! Get down here!" Clomp clomp clomp comes Dan down the stairs and out the back door. "What's wrong?" "Just get rid of that tin!" What was in the tin you ask?

I may have discovered that our flowers were not dying because Soergels kept them hopped up on flower steroids, but because our garden was cursed by the vengeful spirit of a dead pet hampster/gerbil/rat/flying squirrel. The flowers are doing much better now, though it is still unconfirmed if it was in fact Soergels' fault, or that of the dead animal.


It's not too impressive, but you should have seen it before. Of course, the grass also used to be green, but with the amount of urine spread on it every day by the dogs it hasn't stood a chance.